Getting still and quiet

Figuring out what you really want

If you are reading this and enjoying my little slice of Substack please consider hitting the “like” button (heart) ❤️ at the top or bottom of this post. Or sharing this post with someone who might enjoy it. This truly does make a difference as it helps other readers discover my words, and it enables me to chase my dream of writing for a living 🙌🏻 Another way to support me is by becoming a paid subscriber where you will have access to my new series ‘Letters to Cleo’, workshops, connection with other neurodivergent women in recovery, and my new podcast series highlighting neurodivergence in the recovery community!

Day 309 - The Pivot Year

Brianna Wiest’s words have been flowing steadily through my veins for several years. I first discovered her early in my sobriety journey when I needed the words of others to guide me to the parts within me that needed healing. I fit the stereotype of a woman in early recovery, surrounded by a mountain of self-help books, with no clue where to start. Truthfully I was terrified of starting in the wrong place, or with the wrong thing. I know now that there is no right or wrong place to start when you’re embarking on a journey of self-discovery. It felt a lot like excavation in those early days, and sometimes I just really wanted someone to tell me what to think, or do. And this is where “self-help” books come in. But these aren’t your typical dry, preachy self-help books of the eighties.

In modern day sobriety and recovery programs we are blessed with a stunning range of humans sharing from their wounds AND their scars.

When I stumbled across Brianna Wiest I was instantly drawn to her understated, but powerful, wisdom. The Pivot Year is a year-long daily reading book. One of my favorite things to do is open my copy to a random page, and let the message work through me for the next 24 hours. Her perception opens the door to some surprising revelations, and I often find guidance to questions that are on my heart. I chuckled this morning as I read her gentle invitation to “spend nights by yourself” and get still and quiet. Maybe if I didn’t have a toddler-shaped shadow this would be possible. But alas, I live with three other humans who love me and need me, and are sure to notice if I drop off the face of the earth for a night. Luckily motherhood has given me an ability to recognize opportunities to steal a few breaths on my own time. When it’s time for my son to have his bottle I lay him down on his little floor mat, with the tiny baby-sized pillow, and stroke his downy-soft hair while he slurps his milk. I can always find a rhythm in his gulps

We are officially five sleeps away from settlement day! Tomorrow morning my husband and I are doing our final walkthrough of our new build home with the project manager. The next few days will be a flurry of packing, trips to the dumpster, running last minute errands, placing last minute Amazon orders, filling out school registration forms…. etc etc etc. But one thing I can always count on is that amidst the chaos my toddler will consistently nudge me to slow down, and get still and quiet.

This week I invite you to find a few minutes each day to stop and bring your mind, body, and soul back to equilibrium. Pay attention to what comes up without judgment. Move past the wall of fear.

Thank you for sharing this space with me ♡🙏🏻

Sending you love on your journey this week ✨

xo Kezia 💗

Mr T taking time out of his safari to help his momma pack ❤️